Prepping for a Midwife Home Visit with a Reactive Dog

I’m now 16 weeks pregnant, and although I spent my entire first trimester trying to figure out how to get prenatal care through our very flawed healthcare system, I have finally been able to get my first doctor’s appointment out of the way. Now, my husband and I get to decide what kind of care we want, and where we’d like to deliver our baby. I’ve never been comfortable in hospitals and doctors offices, so a homebirth in an appealing option to me. I love the idea of being in my own comfort zone, and getting to stay home and relax in my own bed once I bring my baby into this world.

Birthstream Midwifery was the first midwife service we contacted. They provide all their prenatal appointments in the home, which seems like a selling point for someone interested in a homebirth, but this presents an extra challenge as the owner of a reactive dog. I don’t plan on having my dogs present for my birth, even if we do birth at home. My plans aren’t solid yet (I have time!) but I think I’ll likely have a trusted family member take them for an overnighter when the time comes. Having people and commotion in our home will be stressful for Muchacho, and Koa can be a bit of a worried “mama hen” herself, so I know that seeing and hearing me labor would be incredibly distressing for her, too. But still, I can’t send them away every time I have a prenatal appointment.



So this is how I found myself on the phone with a midwife asking, “What’s your guys’ comfort level with dogs?” Her answer wasn’t ideal, from a reactive dog mama/dog behavior nerd perspective, although perfectly logical, perhaps, to the layperson.

“We’re comfortable with good dogs,” she quipped with a laugh, sounding a little perplexed. Of course to me, my dogs are good dogs. The best. I love them dearly. But I knew that they (Muchacho in particular) wouldn’t fit this criteria. I explained in as succinct terms as possible, that one of my dogs is quite fearful of strangers, and will react like a “big scary dog” without precautionary measures. I explained our routine - that new visitors call or text when they arrive, so I am able to bring him out and take a short “walk” down the street together while treating him, before letting visitors enter the house first, followed by myself and Mooch.

When the day came, I had frozen KONGS in the freezer, a stash of string cheese in my treat pouch, and a leash in my hand. The two midwives arrived separately. I was waiting out front with Muchacho. My husband went to greet them to make sure they weren’t tempted to do the normal/polite thing and walk directly up to me to introduce themselves and say hello. Muchacho and I hung back and I fed him string cheese. As he relaxed, I closed the distance a bit, and was able to stand around six feet away and join in the conversation. When it came up naturally, I did mention that I’m a dog trainer (I hadn’t felt comfortable leading with this - sometimes it makes me feel as if I’m being a bit of a know it all to throw this tidbit in). When the second midwife arrived, the jingling of her keys preceded her, and set Mooch on edge a bit more. I increased distance a good deal and continued to feed him cheese. She’d already been running late, and then had gotten turned around, so I didn’t want to take too much time. I’d planned on putting Muchacho into the bedroom with his KONG, now that he’d gotten a chance to see who the visitors were, but he was more tense than I wanted him to be to walk him past the two women in our tight living room to get to the bedroom.

Evan ushered them into our home, where they got to meet Koa, who I reassured them would give them a sniff-over and then lose interest. Instead of following them, I had Evan open the back gate for me. From the backyard, I was able to walk Mooch through the bathroom, and into the bedroom. I closed the doors, and furnished him with his KONG.

When I finally came in and shook our midwives hands, I thanked them for their patience with our “new guest routine.”

“Your dog looks like he really appreciates you,” one said to me, “Just in the way he looks at you.”

It felt good to be seen, and to have my seemingly strange requests validated. People may not always understand where we are coming from, but at the end of the day, advocating for, and protecting the emotional well-being of our dogs is so worth it. 

Muchacho was perfectly quiet and relaxed throughout the appointment, and as predicted, Koa soon lost interest in the shoes of the newcomers and went to her crate to snooze.

Now as far as the birth goes, that remains to be seen - we are crunching some numbers and will decide soon whether or not the homebirth will fit into our budget!